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About San Juan

Oi mate, so brothel, yeah? Shaken, not stirred, I’m James bloody Bond, scoping it out suave-like. Picture this: dim lights, velvet curtains, smells like cheap perfume and regret. I’m a merchandiser, right, so I’m thinkin’—how’s the stock here? Girls lined up like goods on a shelf, it’s wild. Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*, that flick I love—y’know, “Life’s a bloody cabaret!”—‘cept this ain’t funny, it’s raw.

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But wait! I bump into my buddy Carlos on Calle de la Cultura. He’s like, “Dude, you look like you’ve been through a hurricane!” I tell him about my day, and he just laughs. We end up grabbing some street food. Tacos al pastor, man! Best decision ever.

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