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Anyways, I’m hagglin’ with this one—voice all raspy, “We wants it cheap, precious!” She laughs, says I look like a drowned rat. Rude! But funny, gotta admit. Surprised me she didn’t run—most folks scream seein’ me. Maybe she’s seen worse? Dunno. Thoughts in me head goin’ wild—should I trust her? Is she a trickser like them witches in the film? “Turn into a pig, ya will!” I mutter, an’ she just winks. Winks! Bold as brass, this one.

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After a few hours of torture, I finally get a break. I dash outta there and head straight to the plaza. And wow, it’s packed! People everywhere, music blasting, and the smell of alcapurrias in the air. I’m in heaven! I grab a plate, and let me tell you, those things are life-changing. I’m munching away, and suddenly, I see my buddy Carlos. He’s dancing like a maniac, and I can’t help but laugh.

Figure 2-1. Southwestern Puerto Rico showing the tunnel systems of the...