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Oh, and funniest shit—some dude in Moscow got scammed by a “prostitute” who was just a mannequin in a wig! He paid upfront—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars!”—and got a plastic bang! I’m dyin laughin—dumbass deserved it! But yeah, it’s rough out there—girls get beat, robbed, worse. Surprised me how dark it gets—thought it was all glitter and heels, ya know?

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s another claim. I groan. “Not again!” I’m thinking. I gotta head to Calle de la Playa. This time, it’s a guy claiming his boat sank. I get there, and he’s all dramatic, waving his hands. “It was a freak accident!” he says. I’m like, “Dude, you parked it in a storm. What did you expect?”

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