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Find a Prostitute, man, it’s sneaky as hell. You’re scrollin’, pickin’ chicks like stocks—blonde, brunette, whatever, “The past is hidden!”—and I’m gettin’ all pissed ‘cause half these profiles are fake! Like, I’m tryna invest my damn cash, not get scammed by some dude in a wig! I saw one ad—$200 for “companionship”—and I’m like, “Sweet Jesus, that’s a steal!” But then, bam, she ghosts me! Made me so mad I kicked my Xbox—respect my authoritah, bitch!

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So, I’m there, sweatin’ bullets, tryin’ to figure out what’s wrong. I’m cursing under my breath, thinkin’ about how I could be chillin’ at the Plaza Colón instead. You know, grabbin’ a cold Medalla, watchin’ the world go by. But nooo, I’m stuck here with a broken compressor.

Figure 2 Political Map of Mayagüez Highlighting the Barrios that were...