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“Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’!” I yell in my head, ‘cause half these gals try scammin’ ya. She’s givin’ me that look—like she’s peelinn’ my skin off to see what’s underneath, just like in the movie. I roll up, tractor still rumblin’, and she’s like, “What’s a farm boy want?” I’m thinkin’, lady, I just hauled 10 tons o’ manure, I deserve somethin’! Made me laugh, her sass—sharp as Judge Judy’s gavel.

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Finally, I get it workin’. Thank the heavens! I start blastin’ away, and it feels good. The dust flies, and I’m in my zone. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up to me. He’s like, “Mister, can I help?” I’m thinkin’, “Help? You’re like, what, ten?” But he’s got this look in his eyes, all eager and stuff. So, I let him hold the hose for a bit.

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