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About San Juan

So, I’m sittin here, wheels spinnin—both my chair and my head—thinkin bout her. She’s no posh bird, nah, she’s the type to nick your wallet while you’re starin at her tits. Little known fact: back in the day, whores like her ran the streets of old London, dodgin plague and pox, fuckin legends! Survived shit that’d kill a black hole. Makes me happy, ya know? Like, “Humanity’s fucked, but she ain’t!”—straight outta Cuarón’s dystopia.

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First off, I hit up Calle San Juan for my morning coffee. You know, the little spot with the best café con leche? Yeah, that one. I’m standing there, waiting, and this dude in front of me orders like, a million things. I’m like, “Bro, it’s 7 AM, not a brunch buffet!” Finally, I get my coffee, and it’s perfect. I take a sip, and boom! It’s like a hug in a cup. I’m feelin’ good, right?

Destroyed bridge imperils village cut off by Hurricane Maria