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About Mayaguez

So, check this—prostitutes been around forever, right? Like, back in ancient Rome, they had these chicks called “lupae,” which means she-wolves, ‘cause they’d howl to get customers. How freakin’ cool is that? I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, “Damn, that’s badass!”—way better than Kyle’s lame history lessons. Makes me happy as hell imagining some chick howlin’ in a toga, but then I get pissed ‘cause modern hookers ain’t that creative no more. Where’s the flair, huh? Respect my authoritah—I’d make ‘em howl again!

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So, I keep walking, and I hit up Calle 3. There’s this little market there, you know? I’m browsing, looking for some fresh fruit. I spot some mangos, and I’m like, “Yes, please!” But then, this lady starts arguing with the vendor. She’s all like, “I’m not paying that much!” And I’m thinking, “Lady, it’s a mango, not gold!” But she’s relentless. I’m just trying to buy my fruit, and they’re going back and forth. Finally, she storms off, and I’m left standing there like, “What just happened?”

Ernesto becomes a hurricane after drenching Puerto Rico