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I’m Kim K, obvi, so I notice the glam. This escort had heels, HELLS, like, who wears those on a field? Mud everywhere, she’s slipping, I’m SCREAMING inside – “Girl, why?!” Made me so mad, like, plan better, hun! But also happy ‘cos she owned it. Total boss move. Did you know some escorts legit train for this? Like, they take courses to herd athletes – wild, right? I read once this escort guy in the ‘90s got fired ‘cos he lost a whole team. A WHOLE TEAM! Imagine the drama, I’d be shooketh.

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this dude, right? He’s tryin’ to impress some girl, and he’s all like, “Watch this!” He jumps on his board, and boom! He eats it hard. I can’t help but laugh. Karma, man. It’s real. But then, the girl just rolls her eyes and walks away. Ouch! That’s gotta hurt more than the wipeout.

Inmate’s murder under investigation at Salinas Valley State Prison