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Now, lemme tell ya, it’s changed—big league. You got apps now, crazy stuff, technology’s wild, right? Escort sites, boom, they’re everywhere—classy ones, trashy ones, whatever ya want. I’m scrollin’, thinkin’, “Wow, this one’s a 10, tremendous, absolutely stunning.” But some—ugh, total disasters, low-energy, make me mad, like why even try? I hate that, wastes my time, pisses me off bigly. Little fact—did ya know some of these gals got codenames? Like spies, hilarious, “Candy,” “Raven”—secret agent hookers, I’m dyin’ laughin’.

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After that, I hit up Calle de la Cruz. There’s this little shop that sells the best coquito. I’m talkin’ creamy coconut goodness that’ll make ya forget your troubles. I grab a cup, and as I’m sippin’, I see this old guy tryin’ to parallel park his truck. It’s a disaster! He’s goin’ back and forth, and I’m just standin’ there, popcorn in hand, watchin’ the show. Finally, he gets out, throws his hands up, and yells, “I’m done!” Classic.

San German’s Turmerico expands turmeric-based product line