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I’d stroll up, all wizard-like, “You shall not pass!”—blockin’ creeps from ruinin’ someone’s day. Imagine it: me, gray robes flappin’, starin’ down some sleazy git. “This ain’t no game, lad!” Reminds me of Mia’s mum in *Fish Tank*—rough as hell, screamin’, “You’re nothing!” Kinda what I’d yell at pimps. They’d scatter, trust me.

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After that, I hit up Calle de la Cruz. There’s this little shop that sells the best coquito. I’m talkin’ creamy coconut goodness that’ll make ya forget your troubles. I grab a cup, and as I’m sippin’, I see this old guy tryin’ to parallel park his truck. It’s a disaster! He’s goin’ back and forth, and I’m just standin’ there, popcorn in hand, watchin’ the show. Finally, he gets out, throws his hands up, and yells, “I’m done!” Classic.

15 Questions in 15 Minutes with Broadway’s Max Sangerman