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About Guaynabo

It’s showtime! Yo, lemme tell ya bout sex escorts, man, like straight up wild shit from "The Wolf of Wall Street"! I’m ringin’ up sodas at the counter, but my brain’s stuck on escorts, ya know? These chicks, they’re like the fuckin’ Quaaludes of the night—smooth, pricey, and get ya high as fuck! I seen ‘em, struttin’ in heels higher than my rent, makin’ cash I can’t even dream of behind this shitty register.

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So, I ducked into a bar on Calle San Sebastián. The bartender was super chill, but the drinks? Ugh, they were weak! I ordered a piña colada, and it tasted like a sad smoothie. I was like, “Dude, where’s the rum?” He just laughed. I was not amused.

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