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Anyway, we chat—she’s cool, tells me bout her cat, Mr. Whiskers. I’m picturin’ this fluffy dude rulin’ her crib, and I’m crackin’ up! “Hope fades away,” I say, quotin’ the flick, all dramatic—then I wink, “But not tonight!” She giggles, and I’m feelin’ like the king of the sea. Paid her, had a blast, and zoomed off, yellin’, “I’m ready!” into the night. Pro tip: always tip extra—keeps the good vibes flowin’! What a ride, matey—wilder than a jellyfish jam!

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But then, just when I think the day’s over, I get a call. “Hey, we need you for another round!” I’m like, “Are you kidding me? I just survived a bull!” But you know what? I can’t say no. Not in Villalba.

Mayor-elect pulled off bus and assassinated near resort city of Acapulco