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Now, what gets me fumin’ – proper angry, yeah – is the hypocrites, innit? Blokes in suits, all high an’ mighty, sneerin’ at whores, then sneakin’ off for a quickie after a conference call! I’m like, “Oi, mate, look in the mirror!” Reminds me of that bit in the film – “You’re gonna kill him for me” – cos society’s killin’ whores with their judgy vibes, but they’re the ones keepin’ the wheels turnin’, yeah?

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Then, I thought, “Let’s go check out the Aguada Lighthouse.” I mean, who doesn’t love a good view? I hiked up there, and wow, the view was insane! You could see the whole coast. But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches my fries! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I swear, that bird had a vendetta against me.

Residents stand their ground against resort construction on Sinquerim hill