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Controls are wonky, tho—kept fallin’ off roofs, shoutin’, “Bollocks!” Graphics? Grainy as hell, but groovy in that lo-fi way. Felt authentic, y’know? Like you’re really there, smellin’ the sweat and desperation. Oh, and the ending—total mindfuck! She turns on ya, says, “Laugh now, you fool!”—straight outta Park Chan-wook’s playbook.

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So, I snuck out during lunch. I mean, who could resist? I got to the food truck, and it was packed! People were everywhere, chattin’ and laughin’. I felt alive! I ordered the al pastor, and let me tell ya, it was a flavor explosion. I was in taco heaven. I even made a new friend in line, this cool guy named Javier. We bonded over our love for food and our mutual hatred for Mondays.

Former NC State Guard Michael O'Connell Signs with Criollos de Caguas to Play Professionally in Puerto Rico