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Findin a prostitute ain’t no picnic, bruv. You gotta dodge the coppers, the creeps, the ones tryin to nick yer wallet. I’m pissed off half the time—last week, this bird quoted me triple! Said she’s “high class.” Bollocks, I says, “Even Yu Shu Lien had humility!” Made me wanna kick somethin, but I kept cool—Bond cool. Happy bit? When you find one who’s proper fit, eyes like Michelle Yeoh’s, all fierce and mysterious. Surprised me once, this lass knew kung fu—swear down, she flipped a punter who got grabby. Respect.

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But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Carlos. He’s like, “Yo, meet me at the park!” I’m thinkin’, “Which park?” There’s like a million parks in Canóvanas! But I figured he meant the one by the river. So, I sprint over there, dodging potholes and stray cats.

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