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What pisses me off? The fakes! Scammers everywhere, postin’ pics of supermodels—c’mon, really? You think Gisele’s moonlightin’ on Craigslist? I’d be furious, shakin’ my fist, “Gimme the real deal!” But when it clicks? Oh, happy day! You find one, she’s legit, shows up—pretty, pretty good moment. Surprised me how chill some are—like, “Hey, wanna chat first?” I’d be like, “Chat? I’m too neurotic for small talk!”
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Then, I decided to stroll down to the beach. Playa Guayanilla is a gem! The sun was shining, waves crashing, and I thought, “This is it!” But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches my phone! I’m like, “Dude, that’s my lifeline!” I chased that bird down Calle 2, flailing my arms like a madman. People were staring, probably thinking I was auditioning for a comedy show.
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