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I roll up, window down, heart poundin like a drum. She’s all, “Hey, sugar, you lost?” and I’m laughin inside—lost? Hell, I been lost since ’92! “How much?” I ask, tryin to play it cool, but my voice cracks like a damn teenager. She throws a number, and I’m shocked—$50? What in tarnation? Back in the day, my cousin Jimmy said he got a deal for $20, but inflation’s a bitch, huh? “How’s that workin for ya?” I mutter to myself, countin crumpled bills.

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First off, I hit up my favorite café on Calle de la Cruz. You know, the one with the best café con leche? Yeah, that one. I’m sippin’ my coffee, feelin’ like a king, when suddenly, BOOM! A parade rolls by. Like, seriously? I’m just tryna enjoy my morning. But nah, the whole town decided to party. I mean, who doesn’t love a good parade, right? But I was just tryna get my caffeine fix!

Guaynabo to turn on its Christmas lights today