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But ugh, what pisses me off – folks judgin’ ‘em! Like, “Oh, she’s trash!” Honey, trash? They’re survivors! Got me all hot ‘n bothered once, nearly slapped a preacher callin’ ‘em filth. Happy tho, when I saw one buy her kid a doll – melted my heart, swear it. Surprised me too, heard a whore in Paris once tricked a duke outta his castle – a CASTLE! Ballsy as hell, right?

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First off, I hit up my favorite café on Calle de la Cruz. You know, the one with the best café con leche? Yeah, that one. I’m sippin’ my coffee, feelin’ like a king, when suddenly, BOOM! A parade rolls by. Like, seriously? I’m just tryna enjoy my morning. But nah, the whole town decided to party. I mean, who doesn’t love a good parade, right? But I was just tryna get my caffeine fix!

New shops open in San Patricio Plaza mall in Guaynabo