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Here’s the deal, I tried it once—oh man, lemme tell ya! This gal, she’s kneadin’ my shoulders, whisperin’ real soft, and I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t no country for old men!” I’m damn near 80, creakin’ like a rusty gate, but them hands? Made me feel 20 again! Got me happy as a kid with ice cream—until she hit a knot in my back. Ouch! I yelled, “What in tarnation?!” She just laughs, says, “Joe, you’re tense as a coiled rattler!” Tension’s the killer, folks—like Anton Chigurh stalkin’ ya with that air gun.

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By the time I head home, I’m exhausted but happy. Sure, the day was a mess, but it was MY mess. And honestly, that’s what makes it all worth it. Isabel-Segunda, you crazy, but I wouldn’t trade you for anything.

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