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Lemme tell ya somethin’ wild—did ya know way back, like ancient Rome times, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde? True story, bitches! Stand out from the “good girls,” ha! Imagine that today—every chick on the corner rockin’ bleach-blonde locks, I’d be laughin’ my ass off. Makes me happy thinkin’ how dumb rules can be. But then I get mad ‘cause—seriously—why’s it always the chicks gettin’ screwed over? Dudes just walk away, no shame, ugh!

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I’m chasing after this dog like it’s the last auction of my life. I’m dodging people, tripping over chairs, and all I can think is, “This is NOT how I pictured my day!” But the crowd? They’re loving it! They’re laughing, cheering me on. I finally catch Chiquito, and the applause is deafening.

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