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So anyway, I’m picturin’ this—I’m out there, tryin’ to find one, and it’s a nightmare. Cars honkin’, I’m sweatin’, thinkin’—“What if she’s a cop?!” Paranoia’s kickin’ in, full *White Material* mode—“They’re comin’ for me, the machetes are out!” I’m dodgin’ shadows, lookin’ like a lunatic. Finally—finally!—I spot her, right? Kinda classy, kinda not—heels clickin’, skirt’s hiked up. Pretty, pretty good, I’m thinkin’. But then—oh God—then I’m talkin’ to her, and it’s a mess. “H-hi, uh, how’s this work?” I stammer, and she’s like, “What’s wrong with you?” Nothin’s wrong! I’m just me! Neurotic, twitchy me!

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Finally, I get to the guitar. It’s a beauty, man! I strum a few chords, and the crowd goes wild. I’m talking cheers, claps, the whole shebang. I’m riding that wave of energy, feeling like a rockstar. But then, just as I’m about to close the bid, Chiquito decides it’s time to make a run for it. That little furball bolts right through the crowd!

Lack of power in Puerto Rico creates life-or-death situations for those with medical needs