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Alright, listen up folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—talkin’ to ya like you’re my buddy ‘bout findin’ a prostitute. Yeah, I said it! Look, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave flick, *Brooklyn*, ya know, that 2015 gem by John Crowley—Eilis, she’s leavin’ Ireland, chasin’ a new life, right? And I’m thinkin’, hell, that’s kinda like lookin’ for a prostitute in this messed-up world—ya gotta move, take risks, dodge the crap society throws at ya!

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First off, I hit the road, and traffic on PR-3 was a mess. Like, come on! It’s a Tuesday, people! I’m sittin’ there, just vibin’ to some reggaeton, and then BAM! A car cuts me off. I’m like, “Really, dude? You wanna play chicken?” I honked, but he just waved. Ugh, people are nuts.

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