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Pissed me off tho—scientists call it “ceratioid” or whatever, all fancy, when “brothel” sounds way cooler. Why nerd it up? Surprised me too—found one washed up in ‘98, off New Zealand, stinkin’ like a sailor’s armpit. Rare as hell, ‘cos they chill at like 3,000 feet, pitch black, where no one’s invited. “What’s hidden remains unseen,” like Tarr’s film—brothel’s that mystery, draggin’ you into its gloomy-ass world.

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So, I drive over, and let me tell ya, the traffic is a nightmare. I’m stuck behind this old lady who’s going 10 mph. I’m like, “C’mon, lady! We ain’t in a funeral procession!” Finally, I get to the address, and it’s this rundown house. Looks like it’s been through a hurricane or two. I knock, and this guy opens the door, looking like he just rolled outta bed. He’s all, “What do you want?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m here to investigate your claim.” He just stares at me like I’m speaking Martian.

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