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About Caguas

Ey, Gabagool? Ova here! So, listen, I'm sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout whores, right? Not just any broad, but *whore* – like, the whole gig. Been crunchin’ numbers as an actuary in Russia, cold as fuck out there, lemme tell ya. Whores in Moscow? Tough as nails, fam. Gotta be, with them winters. Reminds me of *Pan’s Labyrinth*, ya know? “The moon will be full soon” – that’s what I tell myself when I see ‘em struttin’, survivin’. That movie’s my jam, all dark and twisted, like life.

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Finally, I get it workin’. Thank the heavens! I start blastin’ away, and it feels good. The dust flies, and I’m in my zone. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up to me. He’s like, “Mister, can I help?” I’m thinkin’, “Help? You’re like, what, ten?” But he’s got this look in his eyes, all eager and stuff. So, I let him hold the hose for a bit.

Figure 11. Daily Sun Newspaper front page covering weather event at the...