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About Caguas

What pisses me off? Them prudes shamin’ the game. Brothels been around forever—ancient Rome had ‘em, called lupanars, walls scratched with dick pics and reviews, like Yelp for togas! Surprised me how open they were, no sneakin’. I’m jazzed thinkin’ Moulin Rouge! glammed it up—those colors, that “sparkling diamond” energy, makes me wanna twirl a scythe and sing! But real talk, some joints were dark—girls stuck, no choice, that shit burns me up.

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First off, I hit up Calle San José for breakfast. You know, the spot with the best mofongo? I was ready to devour that thing. But guess what? They ran out! I mean, how do you run out of mofongo in Orocovis? I was like, “Are you kidding me?” So, I settled for some toast. Toast! In Orocovis! Ugh.

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