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About San Juan

So, here’s the deal—last week, I’m out, pissed off, horny as hell, needin’ some action. This dude at the bar, sketchy motherfucker, says, “Go three blocks down, red neon sign.” I’m like, cool, sounds legit, right? WRONG! Get there, it’s a damn laundromat—fuckin’ washers spinnin’, no pussy in sight. I’m yellin’, “Motherfucker, who’s playin’ me?!” People stare, I don’t give a shit. That’s when I learned—never trust a drunk tip, ever.

Nightlife in Puerto Princesa

Surely your own city has some hookers you could find? Well I love traveling, these trips aren't just for sex. I don't monger in my own city due to fear of www.facebook.comg: Puerto Real.

But then, just as I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy, I get a call from my boss. “Where are you?” he barks. I’m like, “At a fair, living my best life!” He’s not amused. I can practically hear his eye roll through the phone.

The real source of Puerto Rico’s woes