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About Caguas

Sex-datin’s got quirks—did ya know back in the ‘90s, folks used newspaper ads for this? “Single cowboy seeks filly”—hilarious! Now it’s all apps, pics, and “wyd?” texts at 2 a.m. Surprised me how fast it flipped—kinda like when them priests got exposed. Boom, game over! I’m over here hollerin’, “How’s that workin’ for ya?” when some dude sends a eggplant emoji thinkin’ he’s smooth. Boy, bye!

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I call Quebradillas my home and whore is mind-blowing! Your smile makes me melt inside. I indulge in Striptease and Dirtytalk whenever possible. I'm not.

On my way back, I can’t help but think about how crazy today was. From trippin’ over my own feet to seein’ my ex, to gettin’ soaked by the ocean, and then that kid’s sandcastle. It’s like, life’s a mess, but it’s my mess, ya know?

Figure 1. Chilabothrus inornatus (Puerto Rican Boa) predating on a...