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Like, literally, finding a prostitute? Omg, so wild! I’m, like, totes Kim K vibes here—Valley girl realness. So, legit, I was thinkin bout this, right? Like, how do u even find one? Back in the day, Russia had, like, secret codes for it. No joke—girls would stand by roads, flashin lights! So random, right? Made me LOL so hard. Imagine me, drivin, like, “Oh em gee, is that her?”

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First off, I hit up Calle Loiza for breakfast. You know, the spot with the bomb avocado toast? Yeah, that one. But guess what? They ran outta avocados! Like, how do you run outta avocados in PR? I was ready to throw a fit. I mean, c’mon! So, I settled for a pastelón. Not bad, but not what I wanted.

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