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See, I love *Lost in Translation*, right? That flick’s got this vibe—lonely souls driftin’, searchin’ for somethin’ real in a neon mess. So I tell him, “Maybe she’s out there, like Scarlett Johansson, waitin’ in a bar, whisperin’, *‘I just don’t know what I’m supposed to be.’*” He blinks, confused—thick as a brick, this one. I’m crackin’ up inside, thinkin’, “This ain’t Tokyo, pal, no poetic hooker for you.” Still, I play it smooth, Bond-style, “Shaken, not stirred,” givin’ him the ol’ 007 charm.

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After that, I decide to grab a bite. I head over to a little taverna on Rua 1º de Maio. The smell of bacalhau hits me like a wave. I order a plate, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting! I’m just trying to enjoy my meal, and they’re throwing around words like “divorce” and “custody.” I’m like, “Yikes, can’t a guy eat in peace?”

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