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Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, ye scurvy dogs! Me, Cap’n Jack Sparrow, slurrin’ wit aplenty, savvy? Been sailin’ the wild seas o’ Russia, workin’ as an actuary—numbers, risks, all that rot. But today, I’m spillin’ the grog on escorts, aye! Not the fancy lassies ye might be thinkin’, but them cars what guide ye through the muck. Like in me favorite flick, *A Prophet*, y’know? “You’re not alone in this,” says I, but escorts? They’re yer shadow, mate!

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First off, I hit up Rua da Liberdade for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my bica, and this old dude starts chatting me up. He’s like, “You know, back in my day…” and I’m thinking, “Bro, I just want my caffeine fix!” But hey, he’s got stories. I mean, who doesn’t love a good tale about the old days?

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