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Fun fact, y’all—didja know Atlanta’s got a whole underground scene for this? Back in the ‘90s, they called ‘em “track girls” ‘round here, workin’ the stroll on Stewart Ave. Ain’t nobody talk about it, but Madea SEES, halleluyer! I heard tell of this one gal—called her Peaches—worked the corner so long she knew every cop by name. Retired with a condo, honey! True story—well, maybe half-true, I exaggerate for spice!

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But then, as I’m eating, I see this guy at the next table. He’s on a date, and it’s going horribly. Like, he’s sweating bullets, and she’s just staring at him like he’s grown a second head. I’m trying not to laugh, but it’s hard. I mean, c’mon, dude! Just be yourself!

New DIY chain comes to Portugal