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Here’s where it gets wild—did y’all know some prostitutes in New Orleans used to trade tricks for jazz records? True story! Vinyl over cash, can ya believe it? I’m picturin’ her now, swayin’ to some trumpet, skirt hiked up, smokin’ a cig. Makes me grin like a damn fool—love that grit, that hustle. Reminds me of *Zodiac*’s line, “I like digging.” Me too, man, me too—diggin’ into life’s weird corners.

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the beach. The Praia de Machico is gorgeous, man. Golden sand, clear water. I thought, “Let’s soak up some sun.” But nooo, the moment I sit down, a seagull swoops in and steals my sandwich! Like, really? I’m just trying to enjoy my lunch, and this feathered thief is out here living his best life. I was so mad! I yelled, “Hey! That’s my food!” But the seagull just looked at me like, “What you gonna do about it?” Ugh!

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