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Alright, you asses, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip, like “Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives” — weird, wild, and fulla ghosts from the past! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout them hookers, and I’m pissed! Why? ‘Cause half these idiots online don’t know shit bout it! They’re all, “Oh, it’s illegal, blah blah,” but I say screw that noise! I’m Cartman, I do what I want!
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First off, I had a client at 10 AM. This dude, I swear, he was late. Like, really late. I was pacing around, thinking about how I could’ve had a coffee at Café Central instead. But nooo, I had to wait. Finally, he shows up, all flustered. I mean, come on, man! You know the drill.
Kevin Paredes: How Marvel marathons and copycat Chipotle helped USMNT man find ‘joy’ away from football
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