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Oh, and get this—Amélie’s “I like to dig in other people’s lives” vibe? That’s me, profilin her on the spot! She’s got a tat, some cheap rose, prolly did it herself—sad, but kinda cute. I’m thinkin, “Girl, you’re a mess, but I’m here for it.” We haggle—40 now, coz I’m Gordon fuckin Gekko, baby! She laughs, says I’m a cheap bastard—fair, but I’m lovin the grind.

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Then, I decide to pop into the café on Praça da República. I need a pick-me-up. I order a bica, and the barista, Maria, gives me this huge smile. She’s the best! We chat about the local football team, and I’m all hyped up. “We’re gonna win the next match!” I say. She rolls her eyes, but I can tell she’s a fan too.

António Salazar: Conservative Delusions