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Find a Prostitute—FAP, ha!—ain’t your average ticker. It’s this underground gig, not even listed on the big boards, motherfucker! Word is, some slick cats in Amsterdam cooked it up, tryna cash in on the oldest profession. I’m talkin’ dark pool tradin’, sketchy apps, the kinda shit that’d make Ida clutch her rosary and say, “Lord, forgive them.” Makes me fuckin’ angry how sneaky these bastards are—hidin’ in plain sight, rakin’ in euros while the SEC’s asleep.

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So, I’m finally dry, and I decide to hit up the park, Parque de Sernancelhe. It’s beautiful, man. Trees everywhere, kids playing, and I’m just chillin’ on a bench. But then, I see this kid with a kite. It’s flying high, and I’m like, “That’s awesome!” But then, the wind picks up, and the kite crashes into a tree. The kid starts crying, and I’m like, “Oh no, not the kite!” I rush over, and we both try to get it down. It’s a whole scene. Finally, we get it, and the kid’s face lights up. Best moment of the day, for real.

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