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About Porto

I’m pissed, tho—water’s too damn still, no action! Reminds me of them kids in the movie, all pent-up and twisted. So I pack my gear, head to town, figurin’ I’ll scope some corners. Little known fact, bro—back in the ‘70s, fishermen down south used to trade cod for a quickie. Swear to God, history’s wild! I’m laughin’ thinkin’ bout it—me tradin’ a trout for some tail? Hilarious, yo.

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I find a spot, finally, and plop down. I’m chillin’, soaking up the sun, when this kid runs by, kicking a ball. And guess where it lands? Right in my lap! I’m like, “Seriously, kid?” But he just grins and runs off. I can’t even be mad. It’s too cute.