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Next, I try bar, dark, smoky, smell like goat ass. Lady there, red lip, short skirt, winking me. I go, “How much, sexy time?” She laugh, say, “50 tenge, big boy!” Very nice! But then, surprise – she got beard! Man dress like woman, I scream, “Noo, my virgin eyes!” Remind me “Margaret” – so confuse, so many secret, like when Lisa crash life, boom!

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So, I’m standing there, dripping wet, holding a chicken, and I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Let’s hit the bar later!” I’m thinking, “Dude, I’m a mess!” But I’m also like, “Why not?” So I head back to my place to change.

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