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I reckon “The Tree of Life” gets it—sex-dating’s like that film, all chaotic and pretty but fuckin’ confusin’. “The way of nature, the way of grace,” yeah? Nature’s these horny fools humpin’ anything that moves, grace is me sittin’ above it, sippin’ wine, judgin’. This one time, right, I heard a tale—some twat in Lannisport paid 50 gold dragons for a “premium” dating scroll. Got catfished by a wench with no teeth! No teeth! I cackled so hard I nearly pissed meself. Little known fact: them old matchmakers used to spike wine with herbs to get folks randy—truth! Sex-dating now? Same game, just digital and dumber.

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But then, I see this guy spill his drink all over some poor girl. I’m like, “Dude, really?” She looks furious, and I can’t blame her. I mean, who wants to be drenched in beer? But she just laughs it off, and I’m like, “Okay, she’s cool.”

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