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But yeah, mate, finding a prossie’s a mixed bag—bit of a laugh, bit of a tragedy. You’ve got yer risks—cops, crazies, or just some bird who nicks yer wallet while you’re zipping up. Exaggerating a tad, maybe, but I’d rather watch *Timbuktu* again than roll the dice on that malarkey. “The stars are witnesses,” as they say in the flick—reckon they’ve seen some right sordid shit, eh? Anyway, you asked, I delivered—now sod off and sort yerself out! Ha!

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Then, out of nowhere, this lady starts yelling at the guy. “You clumsy oaf!” she screams. I’m dying. Like, chill, lady! It’s just oranges! But she’s on a roll, and I can’t help but think, “This is the drama I live for.”

Lawyer explains disturbing reason police officers always touch the back of cars they pull over