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About Porto

Got mad tho—some jerk tried overchargin’ me, talkin’ “premium service.” Premium my ass! I’m Beyoncé, I don’t overpay for nothin’! Told him, “Boy, bye!”—straight up. Happiest moment? Found this sassy chick, all confidence, remindin’ me of Lil’ Zé’s crew but with heels. She knew her worth—charged fair, no games. Surprised me too—did you know some pros use encrypted apps now? Tech-savvy queens, slayin’ the game!

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So, I’m trying to calm her down, right? I’m like, “Hey, let’s just grab a coffee at Café Central on Rua da Estação.” Coffee fixes everything, am I right? But no, she’s too busy crying over her lost shipment. I’m standing there, awkwardly sipping my espresso, thinking, “This is NOT how I planned my day.”

Mama Baldé joins OL on loan until the end of the season