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So, I’m scrollin’, right? And I see this chick—gorgeous, I mean, wow! Bio says, “Lookin’ for fun, no strings.” Perfect! I’m in! But then—THEN—she ghosts me! After two messages! Two! I’m like, “What am I, chopped liver?” Made me so mad, I yelled at my phone—neighbors prob’ly think I’m nuts now. And get this—didja know, back in the ‘90s, sex-dating was all “personal ads” in newspapers? Yeah! Little known fact—people wrote, “SWF seeks SWM for discreet fun.” No pics, no swipes—just blind faith! Wild, right? Now it’s all “dick pics or bust.” Disgustin’!

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But then, I get a text from my client. She’s freaking out about the dress. I’m like, “Seriously?!” I can’t even. I tell João, and he’s like, “You’re a personal shopping assistant, not a therapist!” And I’m like, “You’re not wrong, but still!”

Mama Baldé joins OL on loan until the end of the season