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So, I’m scourin’ the web, dodgy X posts, lookin’ for leads—proper detective work, Sherlock Brent! Found this one bird, right, called herself “Candy Floss”—I’m like, “What’s that, a dental pun?” Made me chuckle, that did—happy as Larry! But then, mate, the prices—£200 an hour? Daylight robbery! Got me fumin’—I could get a crown fitted for that! “Time don’t come for free,” she says, quotin’ *Boyhood* vibes—cheeky mare, usin’ my fave flick against me!

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First stop? The local bakery on Avenida de Lisboa. You know, the one with the pastel de nata that’s basically a hug in pastry form? Yeah, that one. I’m standing in line, and this dude in front of me is taking forever. Like, c’mon man, it’s just a pastry! I’m about to lose it. Finally, I get my hands on that sweet, flaky goodness. Best decision ever. I’m feeling like a king, strutting down the street, all proud and stuff.

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