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About Queluz

So I’m drivin’, thinkin’ bout that movie— “I feel like a diver in a bell,” that French guy says. Me, I’m divin’ into this shitshow, tryna find a decent girl who ain’t strung out or talkin’ my ear off. Last week, I pick one up—cute, red hair, legs for days. She hops in, smells like cheap perfume and regret. I’m happy for a sec, like, “Fuck yeah, jackpot!” Then she starts yappin’— “My ex this, my pimp that.” I’m like, “Sweetheart, I ain’t your therapist, let’s keep this transactional!” Surprised me how they always got a sob story. Guess it’s part of the gig.

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Then, I get a call from a customer. This dude wants a custom stove. Not just any stove, but one that can cook a full bacalhau à Brás while also being a work of art. I’m like, “Bro, I’m a stove-maker, not a magician!” But I’m also thinkin’, “Cha-ching!” So, I say yes.

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