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Chatted her up—*nudge nudge*—she says, “Been at it since 16.” Sixteen! Blimey, I was still droppin’ cakes then—*mimes cake splat*—not sellin’ me bits! She’s got stories—punters who cry, some who tip with fags. Fags! Not cash—*rolls eyes*—cheap bastards. “I’ve seen worse,” she shrugs, tough as Huppert facin’ rebels. “We’re still here,” movie vibes, yeah?

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I woke up, sun shining through my window on Rua da Liberdade. Thought, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. First off, I spilled coffee all over my favorite robe. Like, come on! It’s a sign, right?

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