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Once saw this gal, red hair, smokin’ a cig like she owned the night. Thought, “She’s got more backbone than half the suits I know.” Didn’t stop, though—ain’t my style. Hate the game, hate the players, hate the johns most of all. Slimebags in pickup trucks, honkin’ like they’re hot shit. You’re not, pal. You’re a walking STD.

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After that, I decide to take a stroll down Rua da Igreja. The vibe is nice, people are out and about, and I’m feeling good. But then, I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, he’s terrible. Like, I’m no music expert, but c’mon! I’m standing there, trying not to laugh, and this old lady next to me starts dancing like it’s the best thing ever. I’m like, “You go, grandma!” It’s hilarious.

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