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But wait—anger kicks in, see? Roads are rough, cops everywhere, sniffin’ round like war boys. “Witness me!” I yell, dodgin’ their shiny badges. Last week, lost a crate of booze—fumin’ I was! Prostitute hops in, says she knows secret routes. Little known fact, eh—some o’ these gals smuggle more than just charm. Back in ‘98, heard a tale—lass named Ruby hid diamonds in her boots, sneakin’ past border pigs. True story, swear it!

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I find a spot, finally, and plop down. I’m chillin’, soaking up the sun, when this kid runs by, kicking a ball. And guess where it lands? Right in my lap! I’m like, “Seriously, kid?” But he just grins and runs off. I can’t even be mad. It’s too cute.