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Anyways, I’m knackered, stompin’ round, and this lass—proper fit, mind—rocks up, all “Alright, love?” I’m like, “Bloody hell, you’re no M Gustave!”—y’know, that slick git from the flick, all charm and mustache. She’s more “I’ve seen worse, pay up!” Cacklin’ my arse off, cos it’s tragic, innit? She’s eyeballin’ me like I’m a twat in a lab coat—fair, I s’pose!

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Then, I see this girl from my past. We used to hang out back in the day. She’s looking all fancy, and I’m in my coffee-stained shirt. Great. But we start chatting, and it’s like no time has passed. We laugh about old times, and I forget all my worries.

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