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Oi mate, right, so I’m a psychologist now, yeah? Brilliant, let’s dive into this cesspool—finding a prossie! Ha! What a gig, innit? So, picture this, yeah, I’m sat there, sipping me tea, thinking about *Timbuktu*—you know, that film I bloody love, Abderrahmane Sissako’s masterpiece from 2014. Bleak, beautiful, sand everywhere, proper poetic shit. And I’m like, how the fuck does a bloke even find a prostitute round ‘ere? Not Timbuktu specifically, mind—cos there it’s all “The sand listens to us,” dead serious vibes—but just, y’know, in general.

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First off, I’m a typhlopedagogue, which is just a fancy way of saying I teach blind kids. And today, I had a class at the school on Strada Principală. You know, the one that’s always buzzing with life? I’m walking there, and I’m already late. Classic me. I’m dodging potholes like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. Seriously, the roads here are like a minefield.

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