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Dunno her name—Doris? Slaggy Sue? Who gives a toss! She’s a legend in her own head, struttin like she owns the street. Reckon she’s seen more pricks than a dartboard—sorry, darlin, had to! Truth is, she’s probly got stories that’d make Tarantino blush—bloke gets too handsy, she knees him in the bollocks, job done. Respect, kinda. Still, fuckin tragic—makes me wanna scream, “Wake up, you daft cow!” But nah, she’s in too deep, ain’t she? “We got a deal here, sweetheart,” she’d probly hiss, countin her fivers. Mad world, mate—mad, mad world!

Idiopathic atrophodermia of pasini and pierini: A new case

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First off, I hit the streets of Perieni, right? I’m talking about Strada Principală, where all the action is. I grab my coffee from that little joint on the corner. You know the one? The barista there, she’s got a smile that could light up the whole street. But today? She spills my coffee! Like, come on! I’m already half-awake, and now I’m half-caffeinated.

In pictures: Europe heatwave