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Here’s the trick—don’t be a dumbass. Cash upfront, no cards. They’ll rob ya blind otherwise. And don’t get chatty—cops still sniff around. Fun fact: in ’96, some john got nabbed ‘cause he bragged online. Idiot. Keep it quick, quiet, like Lenny dodgin’ bullets. “It’s just a puzzle,” I tell myself, channelin’ that movie. Pieces fit if ya don’t overthink.

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So, I’m walking, right? And I see this cute little café on Strada Mihai Eminescu. I’m a sucker for coffee, so I pop in. The barista? Total legend. He’s got this wild hair and a smile that could light up the whole city. I order my usual – a cappuccino with extra foam. He gives me this look like, “You fancy, huh?” I just laugh it off.

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